HOW TO DEAL WITH NEGATIVE FEELINGS THAT OCCURS CONSTANTLY ?

HOW TO DEAL WITH NEGATIVE FEELING THAT OCCURS CONSTANTLY?

Negative feelings are certainly one of those things which constantly irritate us and drain our energy, the consequences of negative feelings are also negative and that's the only case where negative-negative attracts! it is like a loop of thoughts, which wastes your time and energy which you can utilize in doing something productive BUT NOT ONLY THIS! it also affects your mental health which further results in acute & chronic headaches ( if it continues for a longer period of time ) , irritation, relationship conflicts, and also affects your future.

People, self-help gurus, some YouTubers, and even people who are close to you will tell you to  " THINK POSITIVE " and focus on Good things but it is not that easy because everyone has a different situation, you can't tell someone to think positive when there is constantly something bothering them and when you use social sites then BOOM! your anxiety goes to the next level when you see those pretty happy faces everywhere, enjoying life, holding hands of their so-called love, buying new cars and the list goes on.

So , the question is then how to deal with those negative feelings which constantly bother you? there is a wonderful line in Jordan Peterson's book Beyond Order , that is :- " DO NOT HIDE UNWANTED THINGS UNDER THE CARPET " and that's the sole reason for the negativity that takes over their mind and that's what you have to work upon !

Let's Solve it !

1 - FOCUS ON WHAT IS BOTHERING YOU

See what are the things which are bothering you, don't be formal or ignorant about the cause because you know what are those things, so don't lie to yourself and openly address the things, there is nothing to be ashamed about, it is human tendency to do mistakes so even if you have done something wrong or you were doing it wrong constantly, address it. Don't be partial and think logically about the things which are bothering you, in such cases when we try to accept the things, our defense mechanism acts and we try to defend ourselves, or we know that things are not going well but we still remain ignorant & indulge in short term pleasures to avoid it until the things really become worse and that is what precisely is " HIDING UNWANTED THINGS UNDER THE CARPET " , we avoid addressing the issue because according to our mind it will going to give us pain, and we hide things behind our short term pleasures. So KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IS BOTHERING YOU , and if you will be honest with yourself, it won't take you much time figuring this out. There is a reason behind those negative feelings and you have to find that reason.

2 - WRITE ABOUT IT

Now, after knowing what is bothering you, Write about it in as much detail as possible, don't run from it, and try being as much honest with yourself as you can. Writing will going to clear the path for you and you will now know exactly what to focus upon. Try writing in a JOURNALING form, which means writing at least one page every day about the things which are bothering you and their root cause. Try avoiding writing digitally and try to write it in a diary with a pen, it will be more effective! You don't have to be an extremely professional writer to write about it, write in any format you want but just be extremely honest while writing and consistency is the key , so you have to be consistent, WRITE EVERY SINGLE DAY , even for 10 mins a day is enough, but write one page every day. this will both subconsciously & consciously make your brain about the problem and then only you can focus on fixing it. So write & then focus upon solving it.

3 - DO NOT WASTE TIME

We often feel negative when we get stagnant at one place or our conditions are not good , we have plenty of time to overthink, overanalyze things and this affects our productivity too, we overthink when we have lot of free time to think about things which do not deserve our attention, So pick something to work upon which will create more opportunities for you in the future and start doing it. Do not leave any unnecessary time to waste ! This will going to keep you busy and most of the times you won't be having enough time to think about unnecessary things, you can pick up anything to work upon, any hobby, any new skill, any new book, workout, it can be anything, but do something which will make your life better in the long term and make it a routine.

4 - LEARN TO LET GO OF THINGS THAT YOU CAN'T CONTROL

This will going to take time depending on your situation but this is very important as well as most effective. Accept the things which you cannot change and learn to let them go, acceptance is hard because your ego will constantly going to remind you that there is something left , BUT ! in reality, it is not the case and so to avoid hurting yourself again & again, accept your limitations beyond which it is not possible for you to rectify things. It is completely ok to feel sad for some period of time because we humans are emotional beings, so it is ok and accept it but also try to make things ( that you can control ) better. Try to change your environment if possible and try to meet new people and remember ! this doesn't mean that you won't going to have any negative experiences in the future but this time, you will be knowing how to deal with it and that's how you will become a better & more mature version of yourself.

At last, understand that feelings are temporary and there is always a reason behind any type of feeling, feeling in itself is nothing. Sometimes it's ok to feel low, sad, or lazy, there is nothing wrong in it if it has an acceptable reason behind it , but you should always work upon it if it has " negligence " as a reason behind it. Accept things and start working upon yourself because there is literally nothing that can't be fixed if you work on it, so without wasting any time or neglecting it to an extent that it creates a serious issue in your life, focus on it and fix it and don't forget that YOU CAN DO IT !